djinn's struggle between nature and reason.

the maintenance of balance

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mad @ circumstance...
gynee! 2 entries in one day. Really, I do still have a life but...I need to vent.

Don't you hate it when things don't work out according to plan due to external circumstances you have no control over? Misdirected anger ensues...then furious drinking and smoking...only today, it was different. Instead of turning to the bottle, I went active instead. I need to work on this damn paper that was due on Thursday so I can't really afford to get trashed. I haven't ever worked out as furiously as I did today at home, nope, never. Always at the gym. Hey! It was productive. Now I remember why I hate anger...and how it's helped me become the person I am -- re-investing that energy into something positive, yes. This is good.

I feel really cheesy and cliche for writing this but man! was I only shows how much I care...I guess.

Perhaps this is a good thing.

Perhaps, just perhaps...this is teaching me not to fall too hard too fast. I've got to watch myself.

Though intensity is so astounding, so is also distracting, and at times, destructive.


Stupid stupid emo kid.

Stupid stupid bipolar grrrL.

Perfect quote here that G'Ohki wrote to me in a book (A short history of progress) he gave to me for my birthday:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Yeah. so fuck you. FUCK YOU.

my blood is still boiling.

really, it's not directed at anyone.


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